I have been thinking a lot recently about failure. I have been thinking about it in two areas, first in my professional life, second in my crossfit life.
In my professional life I have had to take a serious look at myself to decide what I want from my career. My job is something that I have for the most part enjoyed for the last 3 years, although for the past six months there have been periods of time where I just didn't want to be there.
Today I had a really good talk with my boss. She wanted to know if I still want to work at the company. Both her and the other partners want me to stay and continue working with the team and contribute, but only if I am truly committed. Here is the issue: even though I have enjoyed this job and have been somewhat successful at periods of time, I have never been "all in" committed. What does that mean to me? It means that I have shied away from the experiences that would cause me to fail. Instead, I have done the things that are easy that still allow me to make money and be "sorta" successful. This may be ok to some people, but as I look back on these last three years, I don't know if its ok with me.
So what do I do now? Do I quit this job and decide to strike out on my own? Do I stick with it and prove to myself that I am able to overcome this gigantic fear of failure that I have? Do I do something in the middle that keeps me right where I am right now?
I know that the last one isn't an option. I can't continue to be stagnant. Whether I stay at my job or I leave I crave that challenge. I almost feel like I need to fail. Why do you ask? Because its good for the soul. Failing (if you truly gave it your all) allows you to figure out what is most important to you. I think this is alot of the reason that I would like to be an instructor for Dale Carnegie. I want the challenge. I want the opportunity to fail, but at the very least I want to give it my all.
Crossfit
How does this fit into Crossfit? Well as you all know this fits in extremely well. Crossfit is all about failure and starting again. I don't remember exactly what my workout was the first day of Crossfit with Boz as my coach, however, I do remember that we did burpees and that I tapped out probably well short of half of what was prescribed. Since that time I have continued to fail but have also continued to bounce back and try new things.
One problem I see with my own crossfit training is that I still avoid certain things. Basically all gymnastic skills scare the crap out of me. I feel like I need some direct training in it. However, I also haven't tried enough because I am afraid to fail in this as well. I know this is an issue, and will directly be addressing this in the short term.
Going Forward
So what will I be doing to address my fear of failure? I will be tackling it head on. I am not sure what I will be doing about my job, but should have a decision very soon. Either way, I will be doing something that I may fail at. That is one of the things I am looking for.
I remember reading once that you need to fail at least five times a day. This seems pretty ridiculous at first...but if you think about it, if you aren't failing at least that often, you probably aren't pushing yourself.
How do you tackle your fear of failure (if you have it)? Also, what are the ways that you have failed in your professional life and have gotten over it? What about in crossfit?
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Who am I?
- Nick
- San Francisco, CA, United States
- I am a normal guy who took up the challenge of crossfit in November of 2007. In that time I have changed my diet, lost a bunch of weight and gained a bunch of strength. I love learning about all of the nutrition information that is out there and have decided to post my own thoughts on the subject.
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4 comments:
Nick,
I see committment as a bigger issue here than failure. Failure does makes us stronger because it gives us the experiences we need to grow. It's often these experiences, failed or otherwise that help us recognize the value of committment.
Without total committment you are operating on "coasting"...just getting by, the Average Joe. One foot in the door and the other out, ready to jump into whatever sounds more appealing.
A couple of years ago when you were in transition, (that's where you are once again), you took that leap and tried something you'd never done before. You are not realizing that you could have failed big time here, but after your first year you did great. So for a time you were committed to your professional life. But for whatever reason, the job doesn't fit you anymore. You have grown and are ready for the next phase of your professional career. Some of us never achieve this phase, we stay pat and die a little each day at a job that sucks the very life and reason for living from our soul.
Keep putting the word out that you are looking for something new, stay open, be ready to receive. Take some quiet time with yourself, you have the answers within. You've always been a good listener...listen carefully can you hear your inner voice?
I hear you on the fear of gymnastics, my friend. The best part about doing something that scares you is that it's a positive wheel of progress... you do something scary, you survive, it boosts your confidence and makes you wonder what else you could do. You just have to get the ball rolling... and it sounds like you already have, by acknowledging the fear of failure, and taking steps to address it.
Nick,
regarding work, if your asking that question, you've probably already answered it for yourself.
Matt
Hi, I came across your site and wasn’t able to get an email address to contact you about a broken link on your site. Please email me back and I would be happy to point them out to you.
Hailey William
haileyxhailey@gmail.com
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